Jungle Drums

Today the guys from my French immersion trip supposedly had a gathering at some pub somewhere. Yup as u probably have guessed, I didn't join them. Why? Cos i'm still having my exams. Cos i haven't met any of them, save for Brigo, since JC. Cos I might feel awkward all over again. After all they're all high fliers, while I am still struggling and looking for a direction in life. I guess this is the quarter life crisis.

We might have spent a month of our lives together as a gang, but the outcome is vastly different. One's a lawyer (or going to be lawyer), one's a doctor, one came back from Penn U (with first class honours i should guess, or she probably topped the class or something), one's a scholar who's signed on with the police (he was the top malay student of Singapore in my O levels year), and so on. While I, on the other hand, am still in school, wun be graduating till December. I'm surprised R even remembered to SMS me.

I guess that is life. Paths cross, but the path you take is totally different from others'. I feel trapped sometimes. Looking and thinking about friends who are doing so well in their lives, could only make me feel shittier. I shall not divulge much, but I've been through a really tough patch. It was this period of time i became angrier, withdrawn and pessimistic. You think i listen to heavy music out of the blue? I dun think any of them went through what I went through. The thing is, it could have been prevented. I could have been a much happier person. And he doesn't think I had been affected by it. He thinks it's HIS problem. He thinks we could just concentrate on our studies and ignore wat went on. Who could? Does he know how I felt? I guess he would never know.

Now that I've found God, I have also found more peace. But sometimes it is hard to just brush it aside. People ask why I stay in the hostel when i stay so near school. Escapism is the answer.

I hope you enjoyed the gathering my friends, let's hope I could attend the next reunion, and that I'll be a happier person when I do.

À bientôt mes vieux amis. Je souhaite que vous vous avez bien amusés.