Jungle Drums

Perhaps I should write in French again. But then my French sucks.

After this whole episode, I guess really, what does not kill you makes you stronger.

I now want to put all of it behind me, and work work work. I shall not cry over spilt milk. In fact, I will now work hard to perhaps find another tub of milk. I shall not endeavor to hope that the milk comes from the same cow. Haha.

Over the past 3 weeks, I had been denying myself the unavoidable truth that the love of my life has left me, and begun a relationship with someone else. As I weep at night, darkness shrouded itself over me and planted unimaginable thoughts in my pathetic mind. A fool I was, to have comtemplated the worst crime a Christian can commit to himself. A fool indeed.

Just like that, my life had been thrown into turmoil. And what someone told me is right. He asked me to be strong, and the stronger one will prevail. Those words I will keep in mind, and am forever thankful to this person.

I had written and deleted a lot of posts. They are part of me, part of my anguish in my darkest times. The storm has ceased, and God has shown me something to focus on. I had been a strong character, till my blind love toned me down, and stifled my relationship. Lessons have been learnt, and plenty of eyes opened.

As I tread gingerly on the path of life alone now, I look at the far horizon. I look back and see happy and unhappy times, but those are memories. I look sideways and see others walking, alone, or with a partner. I see her, with her new partner. I sincerely and silently wish them happiness, and I look forward again. What lies ahead? I dunno.

Let's find out. I take a deep breath, and take that first step, alone but now full of anticipation for what is ahead. Are you with me on this journey? Perhaps. But I know for sure, when I am tired, God will carry me on his shoulders. And He has other things to show me.

Now I run towards the horizon, taking in fresh new air, wanting to learn new things, exploring new paths. The highest mountain is now my target. Partner or no partner.